Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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