"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
