I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
