i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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