Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
