why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
