But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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