I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
