Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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