i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
