bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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