He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
