I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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