I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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