Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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