chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
