what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
