doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
