ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize