Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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