Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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