you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
