you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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