You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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