and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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