you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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