youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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