if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just gift wrapped bread.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
