I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
