I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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