I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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