May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
