cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
