Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
