New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize