YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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