Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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