Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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