dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
