my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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