Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
