whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
