My hair reeks of homosexuality.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
