the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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