Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize