that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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