at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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