Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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