Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
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woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize