Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
