Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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