Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
