Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
