remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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