so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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