Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
