It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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