Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
