omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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