have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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