i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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